“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” – James Baldwin
Hopefully, at this point you have spent some time getting to know yourself emotionally. Its likely that you have begun journaling your feelings. Maybe you’ve joined the PAUSE; Virtual Journal Challenge. If you’ve done this effectively, your are probably ready to make some assertions about what you’ve learned. Ok Assertions might be a little strong, but you certainly have something to say.
Here is your acronym for PAUSE; Stage 2:
Purposefully Acknowledge & Understand the current state of your Spirit & Emotions
First, it is important to know the difference between feelings and emotions. This will help as you move through this process. Some say feelings are in the mind while emotions come from the body. A better way to put it would be, feelings are mental experiences that arise as the brain interprets emotions. Believe it or not, you can feel something about the emotion you are experiencing.
Let’s try an example:
I am sad because my mother passed. I feel so alone. (It’s clear the emotion is sadness, and the feeling is alone.)
Let’s try another one: I’m such a failure. I’m afraid to try again.
Not quite as clear is it.
The way we would suggest you look at it is this: Which part of this can be proven?
A person can make a convincing case as to why they are a “failure”, but by definition, a person would need to cease to exist and have never achieved anything in their life in order to be a failure (catch that). Now, you can just take a person at their word when they express fear. There is the emotion. A more factual statement would have been, “I am afraid to try because I have failed so much in the past.”
During this stage, as you become aware of a feeling or emotion, acknowledge it. You can do this verbally or in your journaling. Then add why?
Example: My sister said my jeans were too small. It hurt my feelings because I’ve been gaining weight.
Now, its obvious that we could explore the above statement a lot further, and you should. But for purposes of this stage, we can celebrate the progress and empowerment that comes from acknowledging your feelings and emotions. You should feel enlightened in exploring the why of your emotions.
Make it a point to explore your positive emotions just as much as you do your negative ones. Positive emotions are apart of you. This process should help you discover more of the things that make you happy.
FINDING JOY & HAPPINESS IS AN ACHIEVEMENT. STRIVE FOR IT!!!
At this stage, we aren’t actively trying to change anything. We just want to focus on acknowledging what is there. We can take it a step further and work at identifying our feeling versus our emotions.
Check out our tools section to get some practice.
It can be helpful to both you and to your counselor to journal during this time. It gives you something to focus on during your sessions.
Remember to be patient with yourself during this process. Feeling and emotions cannot be right or wrong. Negative or positive, productive or destructive, you are taking the necessary steps toward mental stability. Yes, the process can be frustrating, and you might discover things you aren’t ready to deal with, you don’t have to. Make a note of it and circle back when you are. Spend your time, and focus your energy on these three things:
- Identifying your perception: how do you deal with your emotions? The emotions of others?
- Increasing your awareness: Are you feeling something?
- Purposefully Acknowledging your emotions and feelings: What happened? What did you experience? Is that a feeling or emotion (See a list of emotions)?
Read along as one of our PAUSE; Bloggers talks about acknowledging the feelings/ emotions we have in a healthy way.
If you need assistance with these things, feel free to Contact us or see our resources page.
The next phase is learning to accept where you are.
