I am not a professional. I am not an expert. I’ve just spent the last 10 years working towards mental stability —— my own. Nothing on this site is guaranteed to work for everyone. Why view it then?
My journey to mental stability has been long, it has been hard, but most of all it has been necessary. In my opinion, my “resume” says I should be mentally stable.
- I come from a middle class family.
- I have a master’s degree.
- I have never abused drugs or alcohol.
- I have never been physically or emotionally abused.
By all accounts, I should be able to process my emotions effectively. But…
Ten years ago, I was shocked when I was diagnosed with Postpartum depression. My first question, “How did I get this?”; “What did I do wrong?”; My doctor’s response: “These things happen. You just had a baby, and your hormones haven’t normalized yet.” What I heard was “you failed.” Crazy, right?
I worked with a therapist for months and started working out, and things started to shape up for me. I found a way to manage my stress, I started to lose weight, I started to feel and see myself as back to normal. I had another child and didn’t experience anything abnormal. This “normal” lasted nearly five years. But in 2015, I found myself tangled in emotional turmoil, a tornado of feelings and contradictions that sucked me into suicidal thoughts and, eventually, on the wrong side of a bottle of sleeping pills. But God!!!! I slept a total of 1.5 hours before my circle of dedicated friends sent help. My friends were on the phone with me and each other throughout the night and the following days coming up with a plan. Even at a time when I felt the farthest away from God, He was fulfilling His promise to each of us. “… For He himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) Their plan was to ensure that I never felt alone, nor would they leave me physically alone until they saw positive and consistent change in me.
I am blessed. So blessed that even in the midst of recovering from that suicide attempt, God made it known that He would use me. I am meant to bless others through my own pain. My journey is my own, and it is on-going, but God has placed it in my heart to share it with others.