If you are like me, you have probably indulged yourself in some of the most decadent dining experiencing in your city or around the world. For me, its my city, as I don’t travel well (anxiety about long travel). You choose your restaurant based on the ambiance, the cuisine, and the reviews you’ve read on it. You might even take the time to think about what you are in the mood for. Have you ever said to yourself, “I’ve had a bad day, I deserve to have a …..”. I do this often.
Recently, I have been working with a certified personal trainer and fitness competitor to lose the last of my unwanted weight, and hosted an event with a therapist friend. We talked about good eating habits, and I was very open about my emotional eating. I love healthier foods. I enjoy them. I can remember waking up one morning really excited about eating Apples and Peanut Butter with flax-seed mixed in. But I ate a bacon egg and cheese McGriddle instead, and I felt really gross afterwards. Not just your normal, “I really shouldn’t have eaten that.”, but I physically felt like I had eaten lard and it was swishing around my body with my every move.
I talked about how important my lunch breaks are to me. In my mind it is the one time of the day, I am not required to answer to anyone. I don’t have my kids at the time, and my job is legally required to give me a lunch break. So I take the hour of freedom seriously. It is the one meal that is totally up to me, and I can indulge because it is just me. My therapist friend pointed out that, I had created and entirely emotional situation around something that is purely out of necessity. We have to eat, however the food, is merely for fuel to get us through the day, not to satisfy any sort of emotional void, or deficiency, or to change our current state of mind.
I say all of this to point out that, we must be extremely cautious in our patterns and behaviors. It sounds tedious and potentially crazy to, but as we go through out our day, we might want to start asking ourselves why we do things, and why we do things the way we do. For instance, I find it difficult to leave Jason’s Deli without getting an Ice Cream cone. In fact, one day I actually did it, and was so proud of myself I posted it on my personal Facebook page. I know, I know. I sat there in the booth after finishing my food, and had a conversation with myself about why I wanted the ice cream cone in the first place. All I was able to come up with was that it would be free and it could be my desert. I pointed out (yes to myself) that I had eaten two gingerbread muffins (another of my favorite things at Jason’s), and those should suffice as dessert. After trying to rationalize “needing” the cone, I finally just left. I felt great about that decision. But why in the name of Jesus and all that is Holy was not getting ice cream so hard.
I have had to admit to myself, and now to the world, I have an emotional relationship with just about every food that I eat. I enjoy them for reasons that have nothing to do with their nutritional value, but only the way they make me feel. This has often thwarted many of my efforts to reach weight loss goals, improve my health, and look the way I feel in my head.
As someone who works out on a regular basis, it seems like non-sense that I would struggle so hard to simply eat the right way. But even my workouts and their intensity at times are fueled by my state/ frame of mind. I have found that on bad days, i just want to run, longer distances than I have in the past, as fast as I can. I am certain that anyone who has ever spend any amount of time on a therapists sofa, can tell me why that is. (Symbolic of running from my problems.) I can remember having a “theme” for the day of the week in my workouts. Monday, was “Just move Monday”. I hate and dread Mondays, like a lot of people do, so I would get to the gym and make it the easiest workout out possible, just to say that I got up and went to the gym that day. Sounds okay right, we all need a light day. Under other circumstances, having a light day sounds fine, however, the weekends were usually the days that I indulged the most. (Also, probably why I felt so tired/ sluggish in the first place.)
Why do I indulge the most on the weekends? Kids. They have so many places to be, and it is easier to stop and pick up food or go to a restaurant, than to schedule time to cook. Also, living with my family (a whole other blog to be written at a later date) doesn’t always allow me to cook the foods that I prefer. I found that often, I eat their left-overs, or if they want ice cream or frozen yogurt, I get some for myself, because it’s about the memories and experiences (right?). I have recently been forced to face the fact that even when presented with healthier options like, going to the park to play, a trampoline park, laser tag, or even going swimming, I say no, and offer a meal at their favorite place.
I am a routine-loving woman, and it is difficult to break those routines once they start, but I have allowed the routine, to become apart of my emotional well-being, despite it being bad for my overall health.
How am I planning to fix this? Slowly and thoughtfully.
- I am going to start documenting my day-to-day activities. Make note of why you did them.
- What did I eat?
- Did I work out?
- How long was I inactive throughout the day?
- Who did I talk to?
- How was work?
- I am going to determine the REAL purpose of each of those activities.
- Working out: Strength and Endurance
- I was active for 2 hour throughout the day and took 10,500 steps.
- I talked to my mother.
- Works was stressful, but I met the deadline for our reporting a day early.
- I ate fast food for lunch and dinner because I wanted to complete my report.
- I will evaluate whether or not that activity in combination with everything else I did that day served its REAL purpose.
- I burned a total of 3,000 calories today, but I ate 3,560. Therefore, I wasted a workout on food that upset my stomach and made feel tired. – Wasted meal, time and money.
- I talked to my mother, but she mostly complained about my siblings, and I forgot to tell her about her grandson’s game tomorrow night. I really get frustrated talking to her about them because they all call me when they aren’t getting along. – I have to call her again tomorrow to tell her about the game and now I’m running that whole conversation over in my head. Wasted time because I didn’t get to the intent of my call.
- I am going to evaluate how those routines benefit my overall well-being. Ask yourself why you should or shouldn’t do them.
- Working out – helps me relieve stress, helps me to get stronger and achieve the weight loss and overall health goals. KEEP
- Eating Fast Food – made me sick. STOP
- Talking to mom – I love my mom, and there is not way to stop. KEEP BUT MODIFY.
- Movement throughout the day – helps me clear my head and burns calories. KEEP
- Work – stressful at times, but I have bills. MUST HAPPEN, BUT MODIFY.
- For every activity that did not fulfill its purpose AND did not benefit my overall health, I will replace with something that does.
- I will have to make better food choices. I will prepare my own lunch so that in the event work is busy, I have healthy food to eat and won’t have to order bad food.
- I will text my mom about important events to make sure that she has the information, and I will try to tell her how I feel about when she puts me in the middle of fights with my siblings.
- I will work on planning my weekly deadline for work and managing my time in a way that I don’t feel rushed.
Try this out for a week and see what you find out about your activities. Take it day by day. Evaluate the day without looking back at the previous one. Make note of your patterns, see how much of what you do is driven in emotion. If you notice negative emotions associated with an activity, “I did this because I felt this… ” Try to get to the bottom of why you felt that way and if the activity solved the problem, made it worse, or just didn’t do anything at all.
There are only 24 hours in a day, and most of that time is spent working or sleeping. The time we have left should be beneficial and productive. It should allow us to move forward towards our goals, or improve our well-being. It should not be spent trying to undo negative feelings about the past or time already spent on unproductive activities. What routines have you created and why?
