Here is where we answer the question: What do you need during a crisis?
We are going to use the questions from Pt.1 to answer that.
- Am I in a state of panic? Do I panic? Some of us have been diagnosed with panic disorders. Is this something you experience regularly during a mental health crisis? How often do you have them? Are you able to calm yourself during a panic attack? As someone who experiences panic or anxiety attacks, it is always best to have someone around that can help calm you down. Someone who won’t panic or get anxious with you. Your person should be someone whose presence calms you.
- How has or will my behavior change during a state of depression or heightened anxiety? Are there drastic changes in your behavior? Do you do things your normally wouldn’t do? Sometimes a person dealing with anxiety might start obsessing over small things. I for one make lists and begin over organizing to regain a sense control when I feel the onset of a mental health episode. Make note of these things. Ask you friends if they notice changes in your behavior. Your person should be made aware of these behavior changes because he/she might notice before you do and point them out to you.
- How “dark” can my thoughts get? Do you talk about morbid things during a mental health crisis? Do you talk about death or violence? Does your sense of humor change? Do you go to a negative place and find it hard to come out of it? Your person will need to be able to see past this, and be able to remain in positive place despite your negativity. Your person should be someone who will give you positive thoughts, even when you don’t want to receive them.
- Do I have suicidal thoughts? How far do those thoughts go? Your person must be able to take these thoughts seriously. They need to understand that you have them, and know when you are close to acting on them or whether you are just reaching out voice that you are having them.
- Have I ever, or could I become volatile or violent? This is vital to choosing your person. If you become violent with others, you person Must know to take precautions for that. No matter how you feel, it is never ok to become violent, however be honest with your person about your tendencies toward violence. Do you become verbally abusive? Your person needs to know this as well. They need to understand that this happens when you are in the midst of a crisis and have a “tough” skin about it. Again, this is NOT okay, but it happens.
- Do I become reclusive? Am I willing to talk about what I am going through or do I shut down? Do you use your words during a crisis? Some people don’t like to talk about what they are feeling with others during a crisis. This makes it hard for you people to help you, but its understandable. Your person should know that you don’t like to talk so that they don’t waste time trying to get you to.
- Am I open or transparent about my emotions outside of a crisis? Are you typically a sharer? Does that change when you are in the midst the crisis? Being open with your person can help them learn how to be a better help to you. If you are an open and transparent person, your person should be able to pick up on an impending crisis and can help you to prevent it.
- On average, how often do I go through a mental health crisis? When was my last one? Be sure to make note of these things and let your person know. Your person should be someone who proved to be helpful during your last crisis. They should also be aware of how often you have them.
- Do I become self consumed? During a crisis, some of us have a tendency to be self-absorbed. We are trying to manage our crisis, so it can be really hard to be there for someone else during that time. Your person should be people for this very reason. We all go through things and sometimes we go through them at the same time. It’s possible that you can lean on each other, but it will prove to be difficult. Be mindful and understanding of this.
- Do I look for distractions or have a tendency to avoid addressing my own issues and needs? It is sometimes hard to admit that you are going through a crisis. I have always felt that admitting it somehow gave the issue more power. Crazy right? Your person needs to know if you are more likely to deny the onset of a mental health crisis than cop to it. They also need to be able to hold a mirror to your face and show you that it is happening.
- Am I comfortable with other people in my presence during a crisis or do I prefer to be alone? Are you comfortable with company when you are at your lowest? Day one of a bought with depression looks, sounds, and smells different from Day four or five. Your person may get to a point where they feel you need to be supervised, or jolted back into reality. You need to decide if you are okay with someone’s physical presence when you are in this state. If you are, who are comfortable with seeing you in that state?
Assess what you NEED in a crisis. What you need will determine WHO you need. We still are not at a place of putting names on your people. We have a few more steps before we get there. Right now we are nailing down the TYPE of who you need. Next we will discuss trust and finding people you can trust.
