About two weeks ago, a co-worker sent an email blast asking for donations for a group of 4 rescued puppies in her care. I thought I would just go and get her some cash, or bring her some puppy food. But I went home, and by the next morning, I decided I would adopt one of the puppies. Now this is that last thing I needed to do, but it was heavy on my heart. Every time she sent and update, or pics, or thanks us for the help, my desire to bring one of these puppies home, got stronger. So my kids and I picked the puppy up one day after work. I went there wanting a specific one, but that isn’t the one we picked. Upon arrival, we were bombarded by four little playful puppies, but as we heard about each one and their temperament, I was drawn to Maxwell. I was talking to my daughter about why we couldn’t get a girl dog, and I noticed that all but one puppy had made its way back into the kennel. I looked around for the puppy they called Jude, and noticed him sitting perfectly still next to my son. Needless to say, I knew which puppy we were going home with.
Jude and his siblings were dumped on the side of a winding country road in colder than normal temperatures, during Houston’s rainy season. My coworkers husband was driving home and saw a little but sitting on the road. He stopped, and the puppy walked up to his truck. He then led his rescuer to the edge of the woods where he discovered there were three more about the same age. They took them all home and cared for them. Taking them to the vet and getting all four puppies their first round of shots and working to find permanent, happy homes for them. Jude was the first to leave. My coworkers husband said that Jude was the brave one, despite being the runt of the litter. If it had not been for Jude coming to the road, he never would have known they were out there. Poor little puppies. It breaks my heart because there are so many places to take animals that you don’t want.
Before I decided we just keep the name he had gotten used to, I was thinking I wanted to name the puppy Gideon. Yes, the Gideon from the bible. I have truly been in a place where I have doubted my own calling, and wondered when my lean season would be over. If you aren’t familiar with the story, God told Gideon to stand against the Midianites. Gideon responded, full of doubt. He expressed to God, (as if he didn’t already know), that He couldn’t possibly be the one. Why? Because the tribe he belonged to was considered the weakest of all of the tribes of Israel and not only was his tribe the weakest, but Gideon was the weakest of his tribe. What does that make him, the weakest man in all of Israel. If you know anything about God, you know when He calls you to do something, He prepares and qualifies you to finish the job. Needless to say, Gideon went on to do just that; with significantly less help from others than he thought he would need. God took care of Him.
Though, not his name, God took care of Jude and his siblings. Reminding me of yet another scripture, Matthew 6:26. “Look at the birds of the air, for they do not sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” In my lean season, it is easy to doubt, it is easy to feel like God has forgotten about me, but I have to keep this scripture in the forefront of my mind. If God takes care of the birds and the flowers, and little abandoned puppies, God most certainly will take care of me. Why? Because He values me.
When I speak of lean season, I am not just referring to financially lean seasons. I consider it a lean season when something is lacking. I have been through seasons when I feel like I am lacking emotional support. I can be surrounded by the very same people I always am, but I don’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone. I take that as God telling me that He has it under control. There are times that I share, and there really isn’t anyone that can help me. I know that just means, I have to trust God to take care of me.
Sometimes, my lean season is more about being still than anything else. I want to do things, buy things, make decisions, but there is a strong compulsion to do nothing. I am learning to trust that there is a lesson even in this season. This season typically is due to the need to be prepared from something that is coming. It’s a time when God is opening my eyes and my hurt for something He is about to do. Why? Because He cares for us.
There are times when I feel like God has completely forgotten about me. It’s hard to hear from him, or to know if my decision is the right one. But I am learning to trust God more and more through those seasons. Why? Because He has always taken care of me. Even in the smallest of situations, He takes care me. I can recall times when I had a lot more month than money, but my family never went hungry. I know there were days that I couldn’t find a way through my depression, but I am still here. Fighting. When I am going through the worst of things, I always remind myself that I tried to end my life, but God kept me. Not only did He keep me, but saw fit to help me start over and rebuild stronger than ever before.
Jude was thrown out on the side of the road like trash. Treated as though he was unworthy of love and family because in his short four months on this earth, no one had chosen him, yet. I’ve been there. Feeling like no one would ever choose me. Like I had been discarded like a piece of trash. God took care of Jude and his litter, God takes care of me. He’ll take care of you too.
